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76 Anti Jokes That You Shouldn’t Be Laughing At

Sometimes, the absence of humor is what makes people laugh the most. Poor and stupid jokes can be so bad that, at some point, they become good. 

Have you ever wondered what an anti joke is? 

Most of the time people laugh at anti jokes because they find them silly and ridiculous. In anti jokes, the punch line does not live up to expectations as it is completely different from what you expected, which makes it funny in a twisted way.

Anti jokes are designed not to be funny. They rely on the element of surprise which makes them unexpectedly hilarious.

Sounds like a lot of fun?

Here are the 76 anti jokes that you shouldn’t be laughing at!

Woman smiling at anti joke

#1 – True Answer Anti Jokes

Here are a few examples of anti jokes ending with a true answer that is so blatant and obvious that they become hilarious.

Read on!

1. What do you call a pigeon that can’t find its way back home?

A pigeon.

—–

2. Why did the teacher tell Jamie she was wearing too much makeup?

Because she was wearing too much makeup.

—–

3. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?

A sentence.

—–

4. Where was the Constitution signed?

At the bottom.

—–

5. What ended after 1998?

1999.

—–

6. Why did the dinosaur say “hello” to the little girl?

He was polite.

—–

7. What’s yellow and is something you shouldn’t drink?

A school bus.

—–

8. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

“This ain’t my first rodeo!”

—–

9. Why are there no Jewish people on Uranus?

The nature of the planet does not sustain human life.

—–

10. What do you call a medical student that graduated last in their class?

Doctor.

—–

11. Why did the dinosaur eat the baby?

He didn’t. Humans did not appear until after the extinction of dinosaurs.

—–

12. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A deer. The absence of eyes doesn’t change the species.

—–

13. What did one stranger say to the other?

Nothing. They didn’t know each other.

—–

14. Why did the swan hiss?

Biologically, it’s coded in their genes to do so when threatened.

—–

15. Why did Joe get sick after eating too much ice cream?

He was lactose intolerant.

—–

16.  How is a laser beam similar to a goldfish?

Neither one can whistle.

—–

17. How do you get someone to stop swinging on the tire swing?

Snip the rope.

—–

18. What did the man said when he lost his truck?

“Where’s my truck?”

—–

19. Why did Harry stayed home from the party?

He wasn’t invited.

—–

20. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

—–

21. Why did Rose break open her piggy bank?

She ran out of money.

—–

22. What’s the one thing in life you can actually always count on?

A calculator.

—–

23. Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you?

Because I can’t, my headphones are on.

—–

24. What did one ant say to the other ant?

Nothing. Ants communicate by pheromones, not speech.

—–

25. Who shaves at least 20 times a day?

A barber.

—–

26. What’s one thing you can do over and over again and not remember a single thing?

Drink alcohol.

—–

27. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it,

Then my illegal logging company is a success.

—–

28. Do you want to know what always makes me smile?

Face muscles.

—–

29. Why do flamingos stand on one leg?

If they lifted up the other one, they’d fall over.

—–

30. You know what they say?

Words.

—–

31. Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

—–

32. What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

—–

33. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?

Nothing. Rice can’t talk.

—–

34. Do you know what’s odd?

Every other number.

—–

35. How tall is the Empire State Building?

One Empire State Building tall.

—–

36. Why can’t Tommy the T. rex clap?

Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years.

—–

37. Guess what I saw today?

Everything I looked at.

—–

38. Why did the mailman die?

Because everybody dies.

—–

39. What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Probably still Santa Claus.

—–

40. Every 60 seconds,

A minute passes.

—–

41. How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

—–

42. What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

—–

43. What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

—–

44.  What’s orange and tastes like an orange?

An orange.

—–

45. What did the five fingers say to the face?

Nothing. Fingers can’t talk.

Girl laughing

#2 – Random Answer Anti Jokes

Random jokes have always been funny. We’ve picked out 12 of our favorites that can make your day!

46. You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends…But you can’t rob a bank.

That’s a felony.

—–

47. What’s funny about five people in a Chevy Suburban driving off a cliff

Nothing. They were my friends.

—–

48. What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

“We’re both lawyers!”

—–

49. Do you know what’s really odd?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

—–

50. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Being robbed.

—–

51. What makes you laugh harder than your child?

A whoopie cushion.

—–

52. What did the raccoon say to the other raccoon?

“Does my breath smell like garbage?”

—–

53. Do you want to know my secret to sanity?

Red wine.

—–

54. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

It doesn’t even matter.

—–

55. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?

Neither of them is a police officer.

—–

56. How long does it take you to count to 100?

I don’t care.

—–

57. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Dinosaurs.

—–

58. Mary had a little lamb,
And the doctor fainted.

—–

59. What do you get when you mix a goat and a sheep?
A geep.

—–

60. What does one French Guy say to another French Guy?
“My name is also Guy.”

—–

61. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding a worm in your caramel apple. They usually cost more.

Man in yellow smiling

#3 – Stupid Answer Anti Jokes

Stupidity is the core of all anti jokes, but these are exceptionally dumb.

Enjoy!

63. How do you confuse someone?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.

—–

64. What did one stranger say to the other?

Nothing. They didn’t know each other.

—–

65. What do an elephant and a grape have in common?

One of them is purple.

—–

66. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands.

For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

—–

67. What’s the difference between bubble wrap and a carrot?

No one eats carrots.

—–

68. I’m not sayin’ she’s a gold digger…

But she did move to California in 1849.

—–

69. Why are hamsters like cigarettes?

They’re completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

—–

70. What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A horrible boating accident.

—–

71. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?

They both have handlebars… except for the duck.

—–

72. What did one cannibal say to the other after eating a clown?

“We’re gonna get in big trouble for this!”

—–
73. A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?”

The horse says, “Evolution.”

—–

74. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your caramel apple. They usually cost more.

—–

75. What did one woman say to the other woman next to the coffee machine?
“Coffee looks good.”

—–

76. A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Related: 31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!)

Your Turn

As we all know, the essence of every joke is the punchline, we always expect it. When it comes to anti jokes, a punchline is missing, and your ending is completely unfunny, true state, or just random.

This was the list of the 76 best anti jokes we have picked for you. Hopefully, they made you laugh after all.

If you have anti joke you would like to share – feel free let us know in the comments!

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