68 Hilarious Santa Jokes for the Holidays (Ho, Ho, Ho!)

This year when Christmas rolls around the corner, spread joy by not only giving the usual gifts to your loved ones but also by giving the gift of laughter. These Santa Jokes will put you right into festive spirits.

We have scavenged the internet and have gathered the funniest Santa jokes for your reading pleasure. Let’s get right into them!

Funniest Santa Jokes

1.  Why did Santa put a clock on the sleigh?

He wanted to see time fly.

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2.  How can Santa fight with Karate skills?

Because he has a black belt.

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3.  Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it soots him well.

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4.  How does Santa lift a frozen car?

With the help of Jack Frost.

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5.  Why won’t Santa stay sick for long?

Because he has a private elf-care.

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6.  What do you say when Santa calls out your name for attendance?

Present!

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7.  What are Santa’s reindeer wranglers called?

The Jolly Ranchers.

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8.  What is it called when Santa claps his hands?

A Santapplause.

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9.  What are Santa Claus’ little helpers who love grammar called?

Subordinate Clauses.

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10.  What is Santa’s mother-tongue?

North Polish.

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11.  What did Mrs Claus exclaim when she saw her husband put on his suit after a wet Christmas?

“Your suit has rain, dear!”

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12.  What famous actress would Santa take up for a ride on his sleigh?

Holly Hunter.

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13.  What do elves learn in school?

Elf-abets.

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14. What would you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

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15.  What do you call Santa with a pet cat?

Santa Claws.

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16.  Where does Santa spend his holiday?

In a ho-ho-hotel.

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17.  What do you call Santa with a pet frog called?

Santa and Mistletoad.

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18.  Who gives the best Christmas gifts to the cats and dogs?

The Santa Paws.

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19.  What is a singer elf called?

A wrapper.

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20.  Who gives the best Christmas presents in the dentist’s office?

Santa Jaws.

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21.  Why won’t Santa go to a hospital?

Because he has his own elf care made out of subordinate clauses.

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22.  What is a reindeer’s opening line before telling a joke?

This joke will surely sleigh you.

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23.  Why would Mrs Claus get mad at Santa?

Because she believed her husband was a flake.

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24.  What is the name of Santa’s least favorite Reindeer?

Rude-olph.

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25.  How does Santa measure on the metric system?

With a Santameter.

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26.  What would an elf who won a Santa lottery be called?

A welfy.

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27.  What do you call Santa country?

A place where nationality is Santa Claus.

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28.  Where do you find reindeers?

It depends on where Santa leaves them.

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29.  What do you call Santa on a break?

Santa pause.

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30.  Why did Santa’s little helper stand in the corner?

Because he had low elf esteem.

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31.  What is red, white, and falling down the chimney?

A Santa Klutz.

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32.  What would you get if Santa was crossed with Sherlock?

Santa clues.

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33.  What is Santa’s favorite breakfast?

Frosted flakes.

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34.  Which singer does Santa love the most?

Elf-is Presley.

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35.  What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

More Santa Jokes

36.  Why can Santa Claus not enter an elevator?

Because he is Claus-trophobic.

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37. What would Santa’s favorite music be?

Wrap.

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38.  Why does Santa have a white beard?

So that he can hide at the north pole.

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39.  What would Santa’s favorite track and field event be?

North pole-vaulting.

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40.  How do you get a Christmas quacker?

Cross Santa with a duck.

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41. What would you call a poor Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.

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42. What’s as big as Santa on a Christmas tree but weighs nothing?

The shadow.

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43. Where does Father Christmas go to vote?

The north poll-ing station

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44. What does Santa put on his toast on Christmas?

Jingle jam.

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45. Who will bring teeth gifts during Christmas?

Santa Floss.

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46. What do you call it if Santa stay at a beach on Christmas morning?

Sandy Claus.

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47. What does Santa get if he eats Christmas decorations?

He gets Tinsel-itis!

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48. What would you say Christmas time is?

A time when everyone gets Santamental.

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49. Where does Santa keep his suit when Christmas is over?

He keeps it in the Claus-et.

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50. What would you say if Santa was to move to the South pole on Christmas?

Bi-polar.

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51. What says “Oh oh oh!”?

It’s Santa Claus going backwards!

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52. Where do Christmas trees go to become movie stars?

Holly-Wood.

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53. What is the best Christmas present in the whole world that you can receive?

That would be a broken drum – you can’t beat it!

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54. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?

It was on the house.

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55. How you can tell that Santa is real?

You can always sense his presents.

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56. Why did Mrs. Claus get mad at Santa?

Because her husband was a flake.

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57. What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

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58. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?

Wrap.

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59. What do you call little Johnny who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

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60. Why is Santa so good at karate?

He has a black belt.

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61. How did Santa respond when Mrs. Claus told him he forgot something from the store?

“But I checked the shopping list twice!”

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62. Why is the alphabet in the North Pole different than the normal alphabet?

The North Pole’s alphabet has noel.

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63. Does Santa believe in fate?

Yep, he thinks whatever happens is (orna)meant to be.

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64. Anytime something happens that Santa can’t believe, what does he say?

“That’s (chest)nuts!”

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65. What did the elves call Santa when he accidentally stepped on a bag of cashews?

A nutcracker.

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66. What name does Santa use to check-in at hotels on beach vacations?

Sandy Claus.

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67. Why does Santa feel indebted to the elves?

Because he’s an elf-made man.

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68. What kind of bread has Santa been making during COVID-19 quarantine?

Gingerbread.

Your Turn!

Did we manage to put you and your loved ones into festive spirits? Now, it’s your turn!

Please share your favorite Santa jokes in the comment section below!

See you in the next post!