31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!)

There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: they’re loyal, they’re intelligent, and, most importantly – they can be hilarious.

Well, let it be known that horse jokes aren’t just for kids anymore! These 31 horse jokes will entertain audiences of all ages (especially adults) with clever puns and witty punchlines. You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud.

Even if you are one of the few people on the planet who can call themselves a true animal jokes enthusiast, keep reading to see if your favorite joke made it onto the list!

Let’s get into it right away!

The best horse jokes and horse puns.

Horse Puns

As you may know, puns are a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. But, what you probably didn’t realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists.

Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy.

Now, as promised, let’s get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off.

Disclaimer: If that really happens, we are not responsible, and you should go and visit the nearest horsepital. (You should have seen that one coming.)

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor.


We named our horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.


What kind of food do racehorses like to eat?

Fast food.


What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late?

A Nightmare.


Why couldn’t the pony sing?

Because he was a little hoarse.


What kind of bread does a horse eat?



Why are horses so healthy and fit?

Well, they’re on a stable diet.


When does a horse talk?

Whinny wants to.


What did the horse say when it fell?

I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddyup!


How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?

With Southern Horspitality.


Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?

Because it had bad stable manners.


What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win?



What do you call a well-balanced horse?


(Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!)


What is a horse’s favorite sport?

Stable tennis.



What street do horses live on?

Mane Street.


How do you know a horse has a negative attitude?

It always says “neigh”.

Short Horse Jokes

Funny horse jokes.

Puns are great and all, but they can get a bit repetitive after a while (we are looking at you, stable jokes!).

Let’s continue our list with a few short horse jokes that are a bit different.

What’s invisible and smells like hay?

Horse farts.


What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!


Which side of the horse has the most hair?

The outside!


What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella?

It gets wet.


Why do horses fart when they buck?

Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.


Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!


How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?

Start with a large fortune.


A horse walks into a bar.

The barman asks: “Why the long face?”


Why did the horse cross the road?

Somebody shouted hay!


When do vampires like horse racing?

When it’s neck and neck.


How long should a horse’s legs be?

Long enough to reach the ground.

Long Horse Jokes

Last but not least, we have picked out a few longer horse jokes, which you can use in a naturally flowing conversation (when the opportunity is fitting).

Long jokes are usually hilarious because of the buildup and a proper punchline at the end. Unfortunately, with most jokes, the setup and punchline are generally quite obvious.

Related: How to Be Funny — The Definitive Guide

The best horse jokes will have an unexpected twist or reveal at the end of a bit longer joke typically set up in the beginning. So let’s see if our picks do the trick.

#1 – The Horse and the Movie Theater

A horse sits down in a movie theater, and the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?”

“Why yes, I am,” replies the horse.

“What are you doing at this movie?”

The horse says, “I really liked the book.”

#2 – Three Horses & A Greyhound

Three racehorses are staying in a stable.

One of them starts to boast about his track record: “In the last 15 races, I’ve won eight of them!”

Another horse breaks in: “Well, in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!”

“Oh, that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another.

At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog!”

#3 – Twenty Five to One

Sam said to Fred, “I put £20 on a horse last week, and he came in at twenty-five to one.”

“Wow! you must be loaded,” said Fred.

“Not really,” said George. “The rest of the field came in at twelve-thirty.”

Explore Other Jokes

We have reached the end of our list! However, don’t worry, since we have tons of other lists of jokes you can keep reading:


We hope you’ve enjoyed this article and that the horse jokes brought a smile to your face. If so, we invite you to share them with your friends on social media or in person!

Now, we would like to hear from you?

Do you know a horse joke that didn’t make it on our list?

Let us know in the comments down below!

More Similar Posts

2 Comments. Leave new

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill out this field
Fill out this field
Please enter a valid email address.
You need to agree with the terms to proceed