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65 Duck Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Quack Your Friends Up

You know how much we love animals and their contribution to humor! We’ve already given you hundreds of awesome cow jokesgoat puns, and even – dinosaur jokes!

However, we haven’t talked about the fluffy, waddly ducks yet!

Ducks are so adorable but quite badass at the same time. Make one wrong move, and they might chase you down till you run out of your breath!

But don’t worry, only friendly ducks were involved in the making of this list. So you can feel free to quack up at these egg-cellent duck jokes and puns!

Let’s get into it!

Duck jokes and puns.

Funny Duck Jokes

1. How can you tell rubber ducks apart?

You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!

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2. At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

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3. What did the duck say when it dropped the dishes?

I hope I didn’t quack any!

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4. What do ducks say when people throw things at them?

Time to duck!

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5. Where do tough ducks come from?

Hard-boiled eggs.

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6. What is a chick’s favorite drink?

Peepsi.

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7. What do you call a cow and two ducks?

Milk and quackers.

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8. What is the baby duck’s favorite game?

Beak-a-boo.

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9. What do you call a cat that swallows a duck?

A duck-filled fatty-puss.

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10. What do you call a rude duck?

A duck with a quackitude.

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11. When is a roasted duck bad for your health?

When you’re the duck.

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12. What do you call a bird that can fix anything?

Duck Tape.

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13. Did you hear about the duck that thought it was a squirrel?

That was one tough nut to quack.

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14. What did Detective Duck say to his partner?

Alright, let’s quack this case!

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15. If a duck says “quack quack,” what says “quick quick?”

A duck with hiccups.

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16. What did the lawyer say to the duck in court?

I demand an egg-splanation!

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17. What do you call a clever duck?

A wise quacker.

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18. Why did the duck sleep under the car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

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19. What did the duck say when the waitress came?

Put it on my bill!

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20. What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus?

A Christmas quacker.

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21. Why are ducks bad drivers?

Their windshields are quacked.

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22. Why do ducks check the news?

For the feather forecast.

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23. What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?

A fire-quacker.

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24. What happens when a duck flies upside down?

It quacks up.

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25. What do ducks have with soup?

Quackers.

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26. On what side does a duck have the most feathers?

The outside.

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27. What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?

Duckumentaries.

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28. What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in?

Their quack-packs.

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29. How do ducks talk?

They don’t – they quack.

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30. Why did the duck cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

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31. What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole?

Quackamole.

More Hilarious Duck Jokes

Funniest duck jokes.

32. What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens?

Fowl weather.

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33. What do you call a duck with fangs?

Count Duckula.

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34. What do you get when a duck bends over?

It’s buttquack.

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35. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet?

The Nutquacker. 

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36. Why do ducks fly south for the winter?

It’s too far to waddle.

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37. Why was the duck put into the basketball game?

To make a fowl shot!

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38. Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?

For fowl-play.

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39. What did the duck say to the banker?

My bill is bigger than yours.

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40. Where did the duck go when he was sick?

To the ducktor.

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41. Why do ducks say quack?

Because it can’t say moo!

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42. What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

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43. Why did the duck cross the road?

He was tied to the chicken.

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44. Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said:

Quack quack.

Then the other said:

Hey, I was about to say that!

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45. What do duck physicists say?

“Quark, quark.”

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46. Why do ducks lay eggs?

They would break if they dropped them.

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47. Two ducks were skipping down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck:

I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!

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48. Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?

Because it wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.

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49. What is a duck’s favorite sea monster?

The quacken.

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50. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Quack!

Quack who?

Quack open the door, and you’ll see!

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51. Why did the duck cross the road?

Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.

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52. Why do ducks never grow up?

Because they grow down.

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53. How do you get down off a horse?

You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.

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54. How did the ducks get famous?

They made a duckumentary about them.

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55. What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently?

Portu-geese.

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56. What do mallards eat at a baseball game?

Quacker-jacks.

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57. What do they say about French ducks?

They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.

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58. What do pre-teen ducks hate?

Voice quacks.

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59. Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker!

Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.

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60. Why do ducks hate reading directions?

They prefer to wing it.

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61. Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck?

He avoids walking into a bar.

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62. What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch?

You taste a-maize-ing.

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63. Why did the duck go to the bank?

He wanted to get a new bill.

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64. What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond?

Duck!

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65. What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?

A box of quackers.

Your Turn

Did you have a great ducking time? We know we did while making this list! Now, let’s hear it from you:

Which duck joke quacked you up the most? Is there an awesome one we may have missed, and you would like to share?

Let us know in the comments below!

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