47 Funny But Dark Orphan Jokes For a Guilty Laugh (or Two)

A collection of jokes such as this one should need a disclaimer at the beginning. With orphan jokes, things are about to get dirty and dark as fast as possible.

Of course, you already know there are some messed-up jokes here that many people would not appreciate. However, suppose you are a twisted mind like the creators of this list (yours truly). In that case, you know how to push your moral compass aside and laugh at anything inappropriately funny.

This is simply a collection of our favorite 47 orphan jokes that can make you laugh your heart out and possibly feel guilty while doing so. If not, then more power to you!

Let’s get into the first one right away!

orphan jokes

Best Orphan Jokes

1. If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?


2. Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

Because the punchline isn’t apparent.


3. Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.


4. How are apples and orphans different?

Apples get picked.


5. What is an orphan’s favorite beer?



6. How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.


7. Why do orphans love boomerangs?

Because they come back.


8. Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______


9. Do you know what the F in “orphan” stands for?



10. Every bag of chips is family-sized if you are an orphan.


11. Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is. 


12. Why are orphans often so successful?

When people tell them to “go big or go home,” they only have one option.


13. What does an orphan call a family photo?

A selfie.


14. What type of flour do you buy an orphan?



15. Why do orphans like to play GTA?

Because they like to be wanted.


16. Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because the ball usually comes back.


17. Why can’t orphans do homework?

They don’t have a home to do it at.


18. What do orphans get at Christmas?



19. What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.


20. What is an orphan’s favorite movie?

Home Alone.


21. What do an Alzheimer’s patient and an orphan have in common?

Both don’t know who their parents are.

dark orphan jokes

More Dark Orphan Jokes

22. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.


23. What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.


24. What is the least favorite TV show of most orphans?

Family Guy.


25. Why do orphans go to church?

Because they can call someone father there.


26. What’s an orphan’s least favorite store?

Home Depot.


27. Why is an iPhone X a perfect phone for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.


28. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music?



29. There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight. The parents aren’t home.


30. What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.


31. What’s the difference between puppies and orphans?

The puppies actually get adopted.


32. Do you know why it’s called an orphanage?

Because they couldn’t call it an orphan home.


33. Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

They don’t have a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day.


34. What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.


35. Why do orphans like playing tennis?

It’s the only love they’ll ever get.


36. Why don’t orphans get offended by these jokes?

They don’t hit home.


37. What do you call an orphans family tree?

A stump.


38. Why can orphans travel around so much?

They never get homesick.


39. These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.


40. What is an orphan’s least favorite song?

We Are Family.


41. Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?


42. Welcome to Dave’s Orphanage! Our slogan is:

You make it. We take it!

Your Turn

We hope you’ve had fun with these twisted jokes! Now, it’s your turn:

What is your favorite orphan joke? Do you know a gem we missed?

Please let us know by leaving a comment down below right away!

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