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The 50+ Squirrel Jokes That Are Nuttin’ But Best

Squirrels are essential animals for helping the spread of oak trees. They store acorns in the ground but only collect about 70% of them, leaving the forgotten acorns to grow into fine trees.

Pretty cool, right?

These cute and useful animals can be found on every continent besides Antarctica and Australia.

For you, we have prepared squirrel jokes that are just nuts! With our list of jokes, you will be the life of your next camping trip in the wild.
Let’s jump right into it!

Squirrel Jokes

One-Liner Squirrel Jokes

1. Maybe nut today, maybe nut tomorrow, nuts soon. And for the rest of your life…

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2. It’s nuts that squirrels store food for winter.

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3. Squirrels are very good at explaining things because they give it to you in a nutshell.

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4. I tried to come up with a few squirrel puns to make you laugh, but they were all too nutty.

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5. A wise squirrel once said, “you are what you eat.” It was nuts.

Q/A Squirrel Jokes

6. What did the father squirrel tell his family? 

Acorn-y joke.

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7. How do squirrels remember where their nuts are buried? 

They use acorn-yms

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8. What did the squirrel wear on her feet? 

Cashews.

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9. Why didn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia? 

It was a tough nut to crack.

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10. Why don’t squirrels have any friends? 

Because they drive everyone nuts.

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11. What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant? 

An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

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12. How can you catch a squirrel? 

Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

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13. Have you heard about the new squirrel diet? 

It’s just nuts.

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14. What type of TV do squirrels watch? 

Nut-flix.

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15. What smells like nuts but is impossible to see? 

Squirrel farts.

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16. Why did the squirrel bury the tin of fish?

Because tuna spelled backward is “a nut.”

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17. What did the romantic squirrel give to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? 

Forget-me-nuts.

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18. Why did the squirrel rub a twig on its mouth?

It was using a lip-stick

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19. Where do squirrels go for their summer holidays? 

To beech trees.

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20. Why are squirrels afraid of dogs and trees?

They both bark.

Squirrel Puns

21. What did the racing pigeon say to the racing squirrel?

Don’t act like a nut and try to beat me because you walnut be able to go faster than me.

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22. Why did the squirrel take her car apart?

She wanted to see what it was like to get to the nuts and bolts of it.

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23. What did the squirrel say when he was late for work?

I’m so sorry, but the traffic was nuts.

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24. Why did the squirrel get lost in the woods?

It lost track of time and followed the wrong root.

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25. What did the squirrel say to the psychologist?

I think I’m nuts.

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26. What happens when more than one squirrel acts like a nut?

There ends up being a squarrel.

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27. What did the squirrel say the time she managed to accidentally catch her tail in the door?

It won’t be long now.

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28. Why are so many squirrels rich?

Because they are good at squirrellin away their money.

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29. What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel when they went to the cinema?

I love our dates and I’m nuts about you.

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30. What did the squirrel say to the police dog?

Stop barking up the wrong tree and don’t act like a nut.

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31. What did the squirrel say when he had to decide whether to stay or jump

I’m really on the fence about this one.

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32. What did the first squirrel say when the second squirrel put twigs in the frying pan?

What on earth are you doing? This is a non-stick pan!

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33. Why did the bank manager ask the police to help him catch a squirrel

Because the squirrel was suspected of foraging cheques.

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34. What do you call a squirrel who is in charge of a bank?

A branch manager.

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35. If a squirrel and a raccoon were playing scrabble, who would win?

The squirrel, because it has a ‘Q’.

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36. Why did Steve need mouthwash after killing passive mobs?

Because he had bat breath.

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37. What do you call a squirrel that solves crimes?

Squirrel-lock Holmes.

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38. What do you call a Minecraft boy band?

New Kids on the Block.

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39. What is a squirrel’s favorite number?

Tree.

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40. What do you call a squirrel that goes to space?

An astro-nut

Squirrel Humor

41. What’s the best way to catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

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42. I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height…

Apparently, they didn’t like my critter sizing.

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43. What does a hungry squirrel and my dog have in common?

They both have no nuts.

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44. A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.

Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

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45. What did the squirrel say when it lost its food?

“Aw, nuts!”

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46. Cigarettes are like squirrels.

They’re perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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47. Why did the blue squirrel fall out of a tree?

It dyed.

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48. What did the squirrel say when he had to choose between staying still or jumping down?

I’m really on the fence about this one.

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49. If squirrels could tell jokes, they’d be quick and to the point

Because they’d be in a nutshell.

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50. Which squirrels are the best heroes?

Flying squirrels.

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51. Where do squirrels go to learn?

Elemen-tree school.

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52. What do squirrels eat for breakfast?

Crunchy-nut cornflakes.

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53. Why do squirrels have bank accounts?

To save for a rainy drey.

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54. What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a fish?

A squirr-eel.

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55. What kind of stories do squirrels like?

Long tails.

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56. Why don’t squirrels live in Antarctica?

They Antarcti-can’t.

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57. Why did the squirrel pay a dentist one dollar?

To get buck teeth.

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Your Turn!

Hopefully, you have enjoyed our list of 50+ best squirrel jokes.

Now, we would love to hear your nuttiest squirrel jokes. 

Drop them in the comments down below!

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