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81 Funniest Pig Jokes and Puns That Will Never Boar You

If you love animal jokes, you are in the right place. Today, we have prepared the funniest pig jokes to make you snort. 

Did you know that pigs have the cleverness of a human toddler and are ranked as the fifth most clever animal on the planet? They learn their names in just two weeks and come when they’re called. Pretty impressive, right?

For all pig lovers, let’s jump right into the mud!

Pig Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes About Pigs

Knock, knock jokes are a classic. We all loved them when we were kids. So if you are still into them, here is our selection of the best knock, knock pig jokes. Let’s get right into them:

1. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Pig.

Pig who?

Pig on someone your own size.

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2. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Pig.

Pig who?

Pig me up at five o’clock.

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3. Knock! Knock! 

Who’s there? 

Oink oink. 

Oink oink who? 

Make up your mind. Are you a pig or an owl?

Pig Jokes – One-Liners

4. I thought a pig was tapping my phone because there was so much crackling on the line.

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5. I always won the farmyard game of hide and seek until one of the animals started telling everyone where I was. I think it was the pig who squealed.

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6. One day, I will buy three pigs, write 1, 2, and 4 on them, take them to a shopping center, and see how long security spends trying to find number 3.

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7. A man goes to the cinema and is surprised to see a pig sitting in the seat next to him. “What are you doing here?” he asked the pig. “Well, I enjoyed the book.”

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8. I read a story about pig anatomy – it was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

Dumb Pig Jokes

Question and Answer Pig Jokes

9. Why should you not play basketball with a pig? 

Well, he’ll hog the ball.

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10. How do MI5 pigs write top-secret messages to one another? 

Through invisible oink!

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11. Why should you never share a bed with a pig? 

Well, they’ll hog the covers!

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12. What happens when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?

 Pulled-Pork!

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13. What do you call a pig with three eyes? 

A piiig!

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14. What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? 

A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.

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15. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?

 A bacon and legs!

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16. What do you call a pig with no legs? 

A groundhog.

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17. What do pigs call the washing machine? 

The hogwash.

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18. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? 

For playing with dirty tactics!

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19. Why are books about pigs so interesting? 

There’s always a twist in the tale!

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20. What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?

 A road hog.

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21. How do pigs talk to each other?

 Swine language.

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22. What do you call a pig with a poorly throat? 

Disgruntled.

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23. What do you call an angry pig? 

Disgruntled.

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24. What’s a pig’s favorite karate move? 

The pork chop!

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25. What do you get when you cross a pig and superman? 

The Man of Squeal.

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26. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? 

A porky-pine.

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27. What was the pig doing in the kitchen? 

Bacon!

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28. A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? 

Filthy rich!

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29. What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business? 

A nosey porker!

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30. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a pig? 

Jurassic pork!

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31. What happened when the pigpen broke? 

The pigs had to use a pencil!

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32. Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road

Because he was a slow-pork!

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33 In the cold of winter, a man says to his girlfriend: “Should we bring the pig inside? It’s so cold out there.” “But it stinks!” says the girlfriend.

The husband replies: “It will get used to it!”

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34. What did the little piglet want from the swine? 

A piggyback ride home.

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35. The religious cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was out on the range one day. Three weeks later, a pig walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy was flabbergasted. He took the precious Bible out of the pig’s mouth, raised his eyebrows, and said, “It’s a miracle!”

“Is it?” said the pig. “But, your name is written inside the cover…”!

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36. Why should you never ever tell a pig a secret? 

Because they love to squeal out loud!

37. One little pig walked into a restaurant one day and asked the waiter for a glass of lemonade, then he asked where the toilet was. The waiter said, “Down the hall to the left, then straight ahead.” 

Then another pig walked into the restaurant and asked the waiter for a glass of lemonade. When he asked where the bathroom was, the waiter said, “Down the hall to the left, then straight ahead.” 

Another pig walked into the bar and asked for a glass of lemonade, and then the waiter said, “Don’t you want to know where the toilet is too?”

He said, “No, I’m the little pig that went wee wee wee all the way home”!

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38. What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? 

Mistaken bacon.

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39. What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th? 

They have a valenswines dinner.

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40. What was the pig’s favorite ballet? 

Swine Lake.

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41. Where do flying pigs go? 

Hogwarts.

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42. What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?

 “That’s the end of me!”

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43. How do you stop a warthog from charging? 

Remove his credit card!

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44. What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as? 

Frankenswine.

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45. What would happen if pigs could fly? 

The price of pork would skyrocket.

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46. How do pigs greet their family and friends? 

With hogs and kisses.

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47. What is a pig’s favorite sport? 

Mud wrestling.

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48. What do pigs bring to the beach? 

A surf-boar-d.

Funniest Pig Puns

49. What happens when a pig mixes two colors together?

 He makes a pigment!

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50. Yesterday, a pig showed me around his new home. Actually, it was pretty sty-lish.

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51. Where do pigs get together for a laugh? 

The meet market.

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52. What do you call a pig who steals? 

A hamburglar.

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53. Where can a pig go to see the Statue of Liberty? 

New Pork City!

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54. .Why did the pig cross the road? 

He got BOARed of the other side.

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55. What do Bad Piggies like to do at the theatre? 

Squeal the spotlight.

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56. What’s the name of the most brilliant pig that ever lived? 

Ein- swine.

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57. What do you call a pig that’s not fun to be around? 

A boar.

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58. How do you take a poorly pig to the hospital? 

In an hambulance!

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59. What do you call a fashionable pig? 

Calvin Swine.

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60. What treatment do pigs get when they are ill? 

Oinkment!

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61. Which Star Wars character was really a pig? 

Ham Solo.

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62. What else do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? 

It’s a pigtail!

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63. What do piglets do after school? 

They do their school hamwork!

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64. What happens when you put a pig in a musical? 

It squeals the show.

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65. What was the pig’s favorite Shakespeare play? 

Ham-let!

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66. What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? 

With bird flu, you need tweetment. But with swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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67. What do pigs call the creation of the Universe?

The Pig Bang Theory.

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68. What do you get if you cross between a pig with a dinosaur

A porkasaurus rex!

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69. How do you fit more pigs on the farm? 

By putting up a sty-scraper!

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70. What do you call a pig with a rash? 

Ham and Eggs-czema.

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71. When it’s nice and sunny, what do pigs like to do? 

Go for a pignic!

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72. Why did the farmer call his pig an ink? 

Because he always ran out of the pen.

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73. What kind of truck does a pig like to drive?
A pig-up truck.

Pig puns and jokes

Funny Pig Names – Puns

74. A perfect name to call a pig that always talks too much is Hogwash.

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75. If you want to name a smart pig, call him Cunningham.

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76. A perfect name for a philosophical pig can be Francis Bacon.

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77. An excellent name for a pig that brings magic into your life is Harry Porker.

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78. The sweetest name to call a pig is Mudpie.

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79. A great name for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.

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80. If your pig keeps running out of its pigpen, name it Ink.

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81. A sweet name to call a pig of a ‘Harry Potter’ fan is Hogsmeade.

Your Turn!

We gave our best to select the funniest pig jokes and puns. Which one was your favorite?

If you have pig jokes we haven’t mentioned, feel free to let us know in the comments! 

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