A lot of us wonder what others think of us. This happens because we want to connect better with other people and to have meaningful connections. As a result, we spend a lot of time going through old conversations and trying to recall if we were annoying or unreasonable.
The most important thing that we need to understand in the very beginning is that You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Acknowledging behavior is the first step. Since you are here, you already did it, and that is awesome!
In this article, we will cover the essential steps on how to not be annoying and connect with people better!
Let’s jump right into it!
#1 – Value Your and Others’ Time
Time is a blessing and is worth a lot more than we often realize. Therefore it is your whole and sole responsibility to respect the time someone gives to you by making the most out of a conversation.
Either you get five or sixty minutes to a conversation, you need to understand that the talk should be concise, simple, and complete. Try making the conversation to the point.
If you learn how to respect other people’s time, you will send the message that they should treat you the same way.
#2 – Never Interrupt
No individual likes to be interrupted in the middle of the story. Interrupting can say that you have no interest in something the person is trying to tell or that your view is much more important.
Instead, let people finish their sentences before adding your story to the discussion.
Many people will find interrupting disrespectful, so make sure not to do it if you want to connect with someone on a deeper level.
#3 – It’s Not All About You
It’s completely normal that we want to share stories about ourselves and our experiences. However, people will be annoyed if you always make everything about you.
If you genuinely want to connect with someone, let them tell you more, listen carefully, remember little details about their personality. The conversation is a two-way street. So make sure that you listen as much as you talk.
To become a better listener, you should:
- Keep your mind open.
- Listen with the intention to understand, not to reply.
- Face the person speaking
- Maintain the eye contact
- Ask genuine questions
- Try to picture the story someone is telling
- Understand other person emotions
#4 – Mind Your Voice and Tone
Sometimes, we need to speak louder and clearer to tell the story the right way. However, talking too loud is highly annoying, mainly if you are in a public place. The person next to you might feel embarrassed, especially if you share some juicy details that everyone around can hear.
To prevent this:
- Try to bring awareness to your voice from time to time.
- If you are not sure, ask the person next to you that you are maybe too loud.
- Try to match the voice of the people around you.
- Relax your throat and you will relax your voice.
#5 – Understand and Respect the Line
If you have not received a response from someone, wait for them to reply to you. Sending ten messages in a row is definitely something that can make you unreasonable and annoying. Also, remember that receiving no message is also a message.
Respecting other people’s boundaries is one of the most important steps when it comes to connecting. If someone doesn’t want to be friends, that is entirely okay. Forcing things is never the answer.
#6 – Follow the 3×3 Rule
The 3×3 Rule is golden when it comes to building new connections and strengthening old ones. So, according to the 3×3 Rule, you will not connect to the person again if they have not replied or responded for three days.
After three days, you can follow up to hear an update and reconnect, but you will only do this once. This Rule will always tell you if someone wants to connect or not.
#7 – Pick the Right Time and Place to Connect
Sometimes people do not intend to act annoying. Still, the time, situation, and environment puts them as annoying in front of other people. Hence, one significant aspect that the majority misses out on is selecting the location, time, and medium (online connections).
All these factors do have an impact on your connections.
To explain, lets’ say if a person is on their way to an urgent meeting and you keep asking them for a two-minute talk. The brief conversation doesn’t seem like something that can be so annoying. Still, in this context – you should really wait and find the appropriate time.
#8 – Show Appreciation
Human beings love other humans who appreciate them for the tiniest of things. You must be wondering why on earth should you thank someone for connecting with you; well, that is the key to conversations where you connect with someone.
Please do not wait for the other person to greet you first, do it yourself. If you think you love how they talk and always help you out, let them know.
Most importantly, before ending the conversation, either in person or through the phone, thank them for giving you their time, irrespective of the conversation results.
#9 – Ask For Constructive Feedback
If there is someone you can trust, ask for an honest opinion about your behavior. We understand that it is not pleasant to hear bad things about ourselves, but this feedback is the most important guide you will ever have.
It will help you not only to stop being annoying but also to increase your chances of building deeper connections and relationships.
#10 – Be Aware
To change our annoying behavior, we need to be aware and understand when we are crossing the line. Being self-aware means that we have a deep understanding of our actions and beliefs.
To know yourself, you must sacrifice the illusion that you already do. — Vironika Tugaleva
Things that you can do to bring self-awareness are:
- Take an objective look at your actions
- Practice active listening
- Focus sharpening
- Keep a journal and be consistent
- Take personality test
If we understand our actions and emotions – we will be able to make some good changes.
We understand that realizing that we are sometimes annoying is not the best thing we can hear. However, being aware of the situation is the first action in making progress. Try to think actively during the conversations, practice our ten tips, and you are one step closer to making meaningful connections.
We hope that this article was helpful and we would love to hear from you!
What are your annoying habits?
What makes others annoying to you?
Let us know in the comments down below!