Did you break up recently, or have you never dated someone?
We have all been there. All of your friends are having fun in their relationships, and you start thinking that something may be wrong with you. You often ask yourself:
Why am I single? Is there something wrong with me?
The truth is, it’s probably nothing to worry about. It could be anything from bad timing to a simple flaw or two you can work on to improve yourself. To make the guessing game easier, we have researched and compiled the nine most common reasons that might answer your question.
Before we start, you should understand that this will not be an easy list to read. You may feel offended quite a few times, and that’s okay. It means we have hit the right spot, and there is some examining you need to do.
Why Am I Single? – 9 Most Common Reasons
#1 – You Are an Introvert
Not all introverts are single, but many single people are introverts. This does not mean that you are likely to remain single; instead, you need to step out of your comfort zone and start socializing more.
If you wish to get into a relationship, you prooobably need another person. The simple solution: meet people, explore different social circles and let yourself discover one that you actually enjoy. When you try knowing people, and you let people know you, that is where the magic begins.
#2 – You Are Too Picky
There is nothing wrong with having standards. On the contrary, you should always aim high in all areas of your life, starting with your own personal growth!
However, there is a point where you might be too hard on your potential partners. You expect them to be of the perfect height, have the right weight, and have exactly the looks you envisioned. That’s all great, but your list goes on and on, and it has at least 25 specific items on it.
Most of the time, ideal partners do not exist in reality. Just like you might be imperfect, other people too can be. So learn to embrace people, talk to them, and build relations without expecting everyone to fully match your standards.
Standards are healthy to have, but there should always be some wiggle room for compromise.
#3 – You Are Afraid of Intimacy
Many of us struggle with becoming too close with people. Possibly due to the way you were raised or a previous negative experience, you find closeness intimidating and keep your defenses high.
This psychological issue is vital to overcome, as it can seriously hinder your ability to get into an honest, loving relationship. Bringing those walls down and opening up, as well as embracing the risk of being hurt, are all essential parts of a healthy romance.
#4 – You Have Had Some Hurtful Experiences
It’s easy for people to stop believing in true love after real life slaps them in the face. From a simple rejection to highly traumatic experiences, many parts of your history may have destroyed your belief that real love exists out there.
You may think that it is never the right time for you or that you are not made for a relationship.
However, that is never the case. There will be the right time for you when the right person will walk into your life and never leave your side. You have to be patient and never stop yourself when it comes to knowing people and giving them chances.
#5 – You Do Not Compromise
Compromises are the basis of every relationship. You cannot always give your 10% in a relationship and expect the other person to give their 90%.
One common reason you might be single at the moment could be your stubbornness and inflexibility. Remember that neither can you always be right nor can your partner. Therefore, you have to listen to people carefully first, ask for an insight into their thought processes and feelings, and only then respond.
The “I am always right” mindset will not take you anywhere good.
#6 – You Are Superficial
Now, this may be hard to hear for most people, and we are sure this does not apply to most of you.
Some people believe that they would only give time to people if they offered them something in return. The return can be in the form of anything, for instance, expensive gifts, fancy dinners, even great looks, ego boosts, etc.
When you are too indulged in these fancy things and superficial traits that have nothing to do with love, you prevent yourself from building honest relationships and ultimately end up being single after a while.
Thereby, start determining the worth of relationships from the amount of care, love, and support you share with your significant other. Learn to value the traits that matter for the entire lifetime.
#7 – You Do Not Believe in Your Magic
Have you ever met a person who radiates confidence and is attractive despite their “average” looks? They might be wearing the oddest things, but the way they carry them will make your jaw drop.
They look beautiful just by being themselves. These individuals possess a unique aura of energy and look radiating. They believe in themselves and are full of quiet confidence.
Can you see where we are going with this?
If you don’t work on building your feeling of self-worth daily and constantly improve yourself as a person, your belief in yourself will always lack.
This may sound harsh, but if you don’t like the current version of yourself, why should anybody else? It all starts within, and we encourage you to start your change today.
#8 – You Set Too Many Random Rules
Maybe due to past relationships or friendships, you begin judging all the new people you meet based on previous ones. Eventually, you start setting too many boundaries and making arbitrary rules for everybody in your social circle.
Each relationship is unique, and, while having boundaries is healthy and even necessary, don’t project your old doubts and insecurities onto every new potential partner. Once again, be open to getting to know them as a person before you jump to any conclusions.
#9 – You Compare Your (Potential) Partners All the Time
One of the most toxic traits of any relationship is the comparison factor. The moment you start comparing your next to your ex, you begin ruining things for yourself.
No person you meet on Earth is going to be the same as the previous one. The good and bad things in people vary, and we are all unique.
So what if your ex was a good travel guide? Your next can be a great cook. Stop comparing, start broadening your mindset and open yourself to new experiences!
Now, we would love to hear from you:
Did we help you answer the question of why you are single?
If so, let us know what you feel is your biggest weakness, and if not, share your thoughts below so we can hear another perspective!
Until next time!